When I Dream I Cry Deeply

In my dreams is when I cry
Wondering how long before I die
I feel a hole deep in my soul
But normally all I feel is dull

I'm nearly 40 and I have no wife
My heart is empty and I hate my life
No one in my arms to hold
I feel like this whole world is cold

During the day I feel trapped inside
From my true feelings I always hide
Can't express myself to anyone
For there is nothing to be won

I can't be expected to fulfill your dreams
I'm Doomed to be alone forever it seems
It seems like I'm living in my own personal hell
Have I been cursed by a goddess's spell

I've only had one lover in all of my days
She was evil in all of her ways
In the beginning all she did was lie
Then she didn't even try

The has been no love in my life for years
I don't hear sweetheart, love, or dears
I am only referred to in formal names
And my heart has been mamed.